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Click here to read from the perspective of: 8th Graders | High Schoolers | College Students | Young Adults | Adults | Senior Citizens

From the perspective of 8th Graders - Audrey & Isabella

""Are you stuck and feeling trapped? God has boxed you in. On purpose" 

Tony Evans

Reflection questions:
- How do you feel trapped in this time of crisis?
- Why do you think you feel trapped?
- How can you ask God to help you get through this feeling of being trapped?
“Have I not commanded you? Be courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be afraid for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9
People might feel that they are stuck in their house and that they can’t see the people that they want to see the most. They might feel that this quarantine is unfair and that we should all be able to go back to our everyday lives. Just remember that we are staying in our houses for a reason and it is that reason that we must turn to God in this time of crisis.
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I definitely feel stuck in this quarantine where we are all in our houses so that we won’t get this terrible virus. I understand that we are doing this for a reason, which is to not get others sick that could potentially get really hurt. I have to remind myself that I am really doing a lot of good by staying inside and remember that I can still talk to others on FaceTime or by being 6 feet apart.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”

​Proverbs 3:5-6
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

From the perspective of High Schoolers


From the perspective of a College Student - Mallory Burke

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Box Breathing

  1. On a piece of paper, draw a square.
  2. Begin tracing the square with your finger, counting 4 seconds along each edge. (one round of this exercise should total 16 seconds).  
  3. Inhale along the first edge, pause on the second edge, exhale on the third edge, and pause again on the fourth edge. 
  4. Repeat as many times as needed. 
Purpose: This exercise will recalibrate the mind and body, distributing oxygen evenly and balancing energy throughout. 
Alterations: To calm down, increase the seconds on the exhale. To energize, increase the seconds on the inhale. Try saying a special word or phrase (ex: “I inhale strength, I exhale fear) in your mind along the way.
My experience with box breathing: I learned this technique during a stress and anxiety management clinic at Elmhurst College, and use it daily because it is tangible and easy to focus on. Although it is a small technique, I love it because it’s quick and can be done ANYWHERE and ANYTIME!
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Have you ever felt… 

  • Spiritually halted?
  • Emotionally messed up?
  • Mentally stuck?
  • A lack of clarity in life?
  • Unable to make decisions?
  • A fear of the unknown?
  • Like your relationship is at a dead end?
  • Trapped in your house for way too much time?
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You might be dealing with Stuckness.

​It can result in…
  •  Low motivation/drive
  • Low self-esteem
  • Confusion 
College students most likely deal with these feelings when picking a career or major, when they miss home while at school, or when they are trying to figure out where they belong in the world. A lot of this is due to uncertainty or fear of the unknown. You might be right in the middle of the nostalgia of your past self, memories of better times, and deciding what path your future self is going to take. ​
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I have gone through several different versions of feeling stuck in college. The first time was my fall semester of sophomore year, when I had trouble seeing exactly what the future held for me. I struggled mentally and felt like I had no direction. I had trouble figuring out who to talk to about issues such as my relationship, my faith, my career path, and medical issues that each overlapped one another. Due to so much on my plate, my judgement became clouded, and I could hardly make a decision for myself. I faded from my friends and relied heavily on my family for support, who helped a ton. I started to dig myself out of my stuckness first by accomplishing a small task related to the issues each day. After that, I came up with some different plans, and when one wouldn’t work I tried the next plan. After months of sorting everything out and gaining clarity, I naturally started hanging out with my friends again, and they totally understood that I needed space.
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The second time I felt like this was a few weeks into quarantine. With so much uncertainty in the world, changing statistics in regards to the pandemic, and absolutely no plans or events happening, I felt extremely unmotivated to do anything, whether it was my schoolwork, working out, or cleaning my room. The worst part was that I had absolutely nothing to look forward to, which is normally my biggest motive for getting things done. In order to get out of this, I tried to make little plans, such as going for bike-rides and creating an agenda for the day so that I could cross out what I accomplished, and even if it was just “Take a Shower,” I got excited to cross things off!
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From the perspective of a Young Adult - Michael Cotter

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listen & know you are not alone
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 seek out sunsets
challenge yourself to get out of your head - sometimes when we disconnect and focus on something else clarity comes.
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"Lord,
grant me the serenity
to accept the things
​I cannot change,
the courage
​to change the things I can,
& the wisdom
to know the difference."
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"Mad Mad World" by Bonnie McKee
Feeling stuck sucks. I said it. The feeling of being stuck is annoying, frustrating, upsetting, agitating, devastating, and so many more mixed-up/messed-up feelings. Whether we feel stuck physically in our homes or stuck in a time of our lives, it's never a good feeling. If you're anything like me, maybe you feel like you are immobile, like you are watching a movie of your life as opposed to living it. You feel like you are letting people down even though so much is beyond your control. You don't know what the future holds. You're scared. You're angry. You're frustrated. You're feeling like there's nothing you can do.

I think part of why there is this sense of being stuck is that we are not allowing ourselves to grieve. Part of the reason, at least for me, that there is the heavy feeling of helplessness is from the expectations I had set for myself that I am unable to follow through with. I made a vision board for what I wanted to do this year - I had goals, and events, and travel all on there which now I can not accomplish. There has to be this almost mourning for what we had set in our plans for 2020. We have to let go of certain things like graduations, or street celebrations, concerts, big summer parties, and we have to accept that this is an uncontrollable factor for us. By letting go of that pressure we have put on ourselves, we are hopefully able to move forward.

​Here are some main focuses that I have started to work through that have helped me. I hope they bring you some sense of comfort; whether they actually help or just provide insight to the fact that you are not the only one feeling how you feel - that’s what I hope to gain from this.

Make Yourself a Priority

RuPaul says “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Resonate on that. Find vastness in it. Let’s say you are trying to fill up a pot with water. In this case the pot is too big to fit under the faucet in your sink and you have to transfer water from a cup into the pot. You can’t use a cup that has cracks in it because water will leak out and it will leave you with more work - filling the pot will take longer and you’ll have to backtrack and wipe up the spills from the leak in the cup. You’re doing more difficult work. You are taking on an additional challenge instead of focusing on a simpler solution. You fix the cup. Patch the crack. You can carry more when you are whole. The same is for love. You can not carry the weight of the world - I hate to be the one to break this to you. I’ve tried myself and eventually you collapse and are even more exhausted than before. Then, you’re even harder on yourself because you not only fell with your own problems, you let someone else down. Someone who was reliant on you when you told them you can handle it but you couldn’t. The crack in your cup expanded. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are human. We were made to be imperfect, to fumble, to fall like Jesus did. We have to live in ourselves. We have to love where we live. Take time to invest in you. No one else knows you the way you do and it is up to you to love you first before you are able to help others.
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Find Moments of Indulgence

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One of the best ways I practice self love is by taking time to indulge. It sounds greedy and selfish when you say it, it makes you think that you’re doing something wrong but you are not. Proving self comfort not only is going to help you long term, it’s going to give you mental clarity, calm, and comfort. Some of the simpler things to do while stuck in quarantine so far have been shower karaoke or to find a favorite food to enjoy and watch a silly youtube video every day when I eat. This has allowed me to take the time I was already going to use by eating or bathing and make it more enjoyable. This is a great way to give yourself “me time” without feeling like you’re taking yourself away from something else or being “greedy” or “selfish”. I've also really liked to, at least once a week, make myself a new playlist and listen to it while I set aside an hour to roam around aimlessly. Whether I'm in my car, or on my bike, or just walking, I never have an end place - I don’t need one. I get outside, and out of my head, and the same space I've been sitting in, put on the music and just go. Finally, I like to give myself a challenge for the week. This has been the most fun. I’ve done everything from read a chapter of a book a day, take on an organizational challenge like refolding all my clothes file-fold style, learn a dance to a song I love, or tried to learn a new skill like cooking, wood staining, even wallpapering. These activities have given me the greatest sense of calm because I am taking positive action to learn something new and change what is in my control.

Accept What You Can Not Change

You can not control the future. 
You can not control people. 
You can only control how you respond to both.
Find comfort in knowing that the future is alien to everyone. We have to try to find joy and hope that our joys and our successes become aligned. Take this time to challenge yourself to grow - both for your future and for your personal gain. Allow yourself to wallow, to lean into your emotions on days you know you can handle it. Don't fall victim to your inner saboteur who says you shouldn't feel something because it's stupid or it's not as bad as someone else's struggle. Comparing your life to someone else's is taking your behind the scenes footage and holding it up to their highlight reel. Don't do it. Comparative grief is a trap. Your feelings are valid - do not invalidate yourself. Accept the inevitable failures that come with learning something new and admire the strength it takes to get up and try again. Open yourself up to your friends & family about how you feel. Allow them to open themselves up to you as well. Know that, just like on airplanes, you have to secure your own mask before you help others. You're much more helpful when you are whole. Fear is valid but it should not have a voice. If you are a vehicle and all your emotions are inside, fear should never take the driver's seat. Fear should never even touch the radio. Accept that it is okay to acknowledge fear but it should not control you. 
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"Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. ​The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind,
the kind that blindside you at ​4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday."

- Mary Schmich, "Wear Sunscreen" 

From the perspective of an Adult - Jackie Dunn

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"Even in stillness, there is movement. Sometimes it takes time for the molecules of change to shift form. Even when it feels like nothing is happening, transformation is taking place.”

Anonymous 
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But on those days, the days when you just can’t bring yourself to dance, when being “still” still feels like being “stuck,” please remember: tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate, a chance to try again.
Having been ordered to stay at home, we feel trapped, stuck in our houses, stuck in this moment.  I am not a person who sits still often.  I like to travel, move, and be busy.  Normally, when I sit still I feel like I am missing an opportunity to do something.  This virus has forced me to be patient with being stuck.  For me, it helps to remember that, although we are stuck, we are not missing out.  Everyone is stuck in their own places too, and there is quite literally no place else we can be. 

But this virus has also helped me to understand that time spent being stuck doesn’t have to be wasted time.  British writer Vivien Greene said, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” If the spirit moves you, find a way to “dance” today: pick up a book on your list; start the 30-day abs shred; learn to knit, play poker, say something in French; play a game with a parent or sibling; tie dye “house” shirts with everyone in your quarantine space.  Or just be still: sit in silence with God, listen to the birds sing, think about the “roots” that kept you grounded long before we all got stuck.
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Some days, of course, you won’t feel like dancing.  Some days will feel dark and anxious.  Some days you won’t hear the music.  And that’s ok too.  On the days when you wake up feeling defeated or anxious, give yourself a little space and time to wallow.  After all, what is happening to us right now is unprecedented, scary, and strange.  No one has the answers, and no one has been through this before.  So if some days you feel like you need to just lean in to your discomfort for a bit, that’s perfectly understandable.

But on those days, the days when you just can’t bring yourself to dance, when being “still” still feels like being “stuck,” please remember: tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate, a chance to try again.  Tomorrow brings us one day closer to a release, to open doors, to getting unstuck.  Without question, these days are hard.  But life is long.  In time the hardships we’re facing today will fade, and we will tell the stories of what we did with our time at home.

Twice in my life I experienced events that so rocked my world I thought I would never be happy again and life would never be the same again.  The first was the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks that crumpled the World Trade Center towers and briefly crippled our nation in grief and fear.  And the second was when my dad died.  On 9/11, I remember watching the live coverage and thinking: we will never recover from this.  And I thought the same thing about myself the night I watched my dad die.  But human beings are tremendously resilient, aren’t we?  Although life did change after 9/11, Americans still travel and fly and still trust in the basic decency of the global citizenry.  And although my life is certainly different without my dad, I still laugh and smile, even while remembering or talking about my amazing dad. 
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Today’s pandemic has disrupted life as we know it.  But I promise you that, at some point soon, the stay-at-home orders will be lifted, shops and restaurants will re-open, and people will start to gather again.  Life will begin again.  And when it does, whether it looks the same or looks a little different, we may just be a little better for having stood still briefly, for having been stuck with ourselves for these weeks.  I would encourage you to find value in this universal pause, even if it’s something as simple as learning that you are strong.  Strong enough to not only weather this storm.  But to dance in the rain.

From the perspective of a Senior Citizen - Terri Lanuti (Audrey’s grandma)

Dear 8th Graders,
We are created and cared for by a God who loves us as if we are the only one. When you were preparing for your first Holy Communion, you sang a beautiful song which reminded you that Jesus has found a place in your heart, and you are never alone. He made a promise to you that He would never depart. Do you remember? A short time before this virus affected our world, God sent His Holy Spirit to dwell within you in a most powerful way in the Sacrament of Confirmation. Again, a reminder that you are never alone. In Scripture, Jesus says “Do not be afraid” 365 times, one for each day of the year! You are His light to your world. Be hopeful, be light, do not be afraid. He will always be with you in every joy and struggle throughout this wonderful life. Bring him in some way to all people you encounter in your life. In this time of isolation, think 'outside the box' – say a prayer, send a text, make a phone call, send a letter, place a message of hope on your window or door, wave at the person in the car next to you in traffic.....in turn, God will bring you joy, peace, and a special assurance of His unending love for you!

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